Founder’s Testimony

My life hasn’t been easy my childhood birthed so many negative things I got involved in. I was born into what the world calls dysfunctional family. I grew up with two older sisters and a brother. From birth there was something my mom hated me.(it what God had placed in me in the womb my destiny and purpose). She would always call me stupid or I should have aborted you etc. I was my daddy’s princess he was a good father he took care of home even his drunken wife until the day he died. He died when I was 3 we were so close he was my hope cause he didn’t talk down on me he didn’t hit me cause i spilled something on accident he showed me loved I was a heart broken 3 year old when he died. He died in car accident. I still remember the way he use to call me princess or the way he tucked me in at night or how he told me he loved me. He didn’t get the chance to tell me my worth or how a real man is suppose to treat me or that real love is John 3:16. My mom moved on pretty quickly so many different men in and out of our lives. She beat me they beat me. I was terrified I thought I was going to die. At age 4 my life changed forever when one of my mom’s boyfriends rape and molested me. My virginity was gone just like that. I told my mom and all she could say is it was your fault. Mind you I’m four years old . Time when on that wound healed only to get hurt again. Still the same answer. I started to have to take care of my mom cause she was always drunk at age 9. If me and my brothers didn’t cook we didn’t eat. We took care of each other.we grew up fast. I left home at age 14 I just could take it anymore. The thought it my mind was the sleeping in the streets has to be better than this. So one day I never came back all I had was the clothes on my back . I remember the devil whispering many times just take your life she doesn’t care don’t nobody love you your dad is gone over and over again. He was trying to kill my purpose that God had for me. I had no idea then but there was something that the devil was after. He would do whatever it takes to destroy it. At 14 I was alone no place to go I thought cause my mom didn’t talk to my grandmother for whatever reason. I had to do everything on my own so I had to find away to make ends meet. It was a way of survival. I meet a few guys on the street who would hit on me I would tell them what happened and they said they would provide for me I was so blinded I didn’t know it came with a price I was out there looking for a father figure someone who would love me just like my daddy did. That didn’t happen I had sex with so many different dudes just to feel loved I thought love was sex. I was messing with this one guy he was owner of a strip club he told me I could work at his club. The thought of stripping freaked me out but he said I could make almost 1000 a night. I told him I was nervous he told me that’s nothing a drink or a pill can’t solve. That’s we’re my addiction to pills started I need to feel some type of high in order to dance. I worked at this club for about 8 months . Then one day I ran into my grandmother this was the woman I wasn’t suppose to speak to be cause of my mom she recognized me I have no idea how being that I’ve only seen her a couple times. I told her that I left my moms house . She said well baby what you out here doing I told her that I was working at club she told me to come with her. So we went to her house. She fixed me something to eat and I told her I could stay with her as long as I stop working at the club. It wasn’t that easy stop working at the club I had gotten use to the lifestyle. I stayed with her for a while but the streets was calling my name while I was living with my grandma she took me to church every Sunday. I grew some sort of hated for church because the people would look at me funny or start whispering whenever I came in the room I hated them almost fought one of them I didn’t care. I went back in to streets to what I knew best. Stripping had became a career path for me I was interest in school anymore I barely went from being so tired from working at the club. I was in and out of school. I wasn’t concerned about getting education or making a plan for my future. I was concerned on how I was going to make it through the next day. My life revolved around working at the club and sleeping around. Wasn’t the kind of lifestyle that I had planned for myself . I got introduced to escorting at 16 1/2. One of the girls that worked at the club that worked at was an escort she told me that this club money was play money compared to the money she made escorting. I was all about the money the money. I did whatever it took to get it. I learned not to get attach to anyone in that lifestyle cause that’s how I would get hurt I had this non chalant guard up. Money was my only friend . The pain I went through escorting was not worth the money when I come to think about it. I was beaten, raped, emotional abused I didn’t care cause I was getting paid in the end. I remember one day literally running to my grandmas house cause I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had been beaten so bad my grandma was crying hysterically. But she couldn’t stop me. I left her house the next morning to go back to the money. I was starting to get tired of the whole lifestyle. But I spent another two years escorting. I remember walking down the street and this girl came up to and told me that Jesus loved me. I told her yea right then how come he took my dad from me when I was a young age and mom beat me till I 14. I totally vented to that girl. But she didn’t have the answers to my questions. She simply said he was watching over me. She invited me to her church. I hated church people because of my past. I went not right away but on my time. When I walked in I just felt the whole entire church stare at me. I felt so out of place. I got up and left . Went back to escorting. I said to myself I guess this is just my plan for my life. I felt like a nobody. I  was really close to just breaking down and giving up . I ran into that girl who invited me to her church I’m was thinking is she stalking me lol. But she gave me a hug and told me that God loved me so much and ask why did I leave church. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable I felt like everyone was watching me. She invited me to this connect group she said I might feel more comfortable there. I’m like do you know that I’m an escort she said it doesn’t matter God loves you and has such great plans for you. Plans for who not me I’m a nobody. My first time at this connect group I thought was odd. I walked into the room and I everyone one spoke to me for the first time I felt accepted. The connect group was a group of people who vented about there issues they shared there testimony’s. that night I broke down right there and I gave my life to Christ. They prayed for me. I felt God’s love for the first time. I didn’t instantly walk away from the escorting lifestyle. I wanted out everyday I would think of way to get out. One of the girls that was escorting with me asked me have I ever done porn or thought about it. I told her heck no. I told her I wanted to get out of this whole escorting lifestyle. She told me just try porn it would be enough to survive if I wanted to get out. My first day on the set of porn was mind blowing . It was so much different than watching it on a screen. All you seen was people getting high and people having sex all over place. I was terrified but I knew I need the money to get out!!! I did 2 porn’s I hated it. I hated everything about sex. God was changing my appetite. I left the escorting at age 19 n a half . It wasn’t easy I was use to getting money not waiting for a paycheck. The closer I got to God the more I couldn’t live the life I was living. God saved me from the abuse, and most importantly from myself . After I left people were looking for me . God’s grace saved me for people hurting me. This is just a little a piece of my story. More to come as God allows me to share with you. Love you all ❤